Welcome back to another CCL Diaries! The first one of these went down so well! For saying I didn’t advertise it, an incredible amount of you took the time to read and I had some really lovely messages from you 🥰 . I think this could become a regular thing you know, there is something quite refreshing for me to jot down my thoughts and feelings!
I have to admit, I’m totally in two minds about Lockdown at the moment now. Half of me is really enjoying the quiet peace of a different way of living, whilst the other half of me is uneasy, and is wanting normal life to resume. My job is busy, and my life is normally hectic, there is never normally an opportunity to put the brakes on, I always seem to be 100 miles an hour, and life just runs away. Lockdown has offered a lot of time for reflection, and has given me a bit of a break, that I think was needed to recharge and refocus.
With more time on our hands outside of our normally hectic lives, certainly comes more time to overthink. I’m a chronic over thinker, and worrier. I’m that person that lies in bed at night and worries about spilling my McDonald’s coke everywhere in 2001 before going to see Monsters Inc at the cinema with my Grandparents. I can literally worry myself silly, and I am really sensitive, meaning I will worry about anything and everything.
I’ve had a lot of time to think about this time last year. I was living a very different life, one that was mentally draining, unhealthy and was really tough on me. On the surface I think I probably looked incredibly happy, and like I ‘had it all’, with endless holidays and adventures, but the cracks ran deep and I was barely above water. It’s been difficult reflecting on these very days in May last year. However, life does, as they say, go on. And the woman I am today is stronger than the scared girl I was last year.
It’s been the longest lockdown without seeing the little pony that I share. If you’re here from Instagram you’ll have seen my little angel creep up on my page. He is my pride and joy, and I just adore him. It has been incredibly hard knowing I haven’t been able to see him, or ride. This has been especially difficult with me having more time than ever to actually go and ride!
I definitely need to be around horses for my mental health. They have been a part of my life for so long, and riding is the one place that I feel at home, and where I belong. I know many of you have also had horses on Lockdown, and I hope your restrictions are too starting to ease.
I can’t believe the response to YouTube! I was so nervous to get this started, and I had no idea how anyone would respond. I was nervous that my Instagram following wouldn’t take the plunge and leave the app to go over and watch the videos. Because of this, I actually didn’t announce that I had the channel until 3 videos down and a week in. I have struggled a lot recently with embracing the social media culture, particularly with the like for like similarities I mentioned last time. Despite feeling like I am getting my mojo back now, so in turn feeling slightly less frustrated, I do still see all these things that go on, and I hope after me giving some inspiration to those individuals, it hopefully triggers their own fantastic ideas.
The latest video I posted over on my channel was a Joules Clothing Haul, which you can watch here. I loved doing this, despite losing some of the footage and having to start again! A new blog is coming in line with this very soon- which will outline each of the outfits, and the products used to make them up.
I honestly had no real expectations for YouTube. It’s something I’ve been meaning to start for ages. The plan initially was to vlog Nashville, but I didn’t manage that. I’ve been doing a fair amount on IGTV, and I had been really loving it- so I knew it was finally time to take the plunge. I have had the channel set up for ages, and it has been the plan for a very long time! I’m a bit stuttery in front of the camera at the moment, but I think that’s just lack of practice. Another thing I really struggle with is my own self-confidence with video content, I worry about my skin so much, to the point I get really upset with video clips, because I am so focused on what my skin looks like. It has been particularly bad again recently – I think it is all hormone related so I really struggle with ways to combat this. The flare up this time has felt particularly bad, and is typical right at the time of my channel launch.
I am so chatty normally, and you can’t shut me up, so I think YouTube will be a great opportunity to show off more personality, as well as the fact that I absolutely adore making videos, and coming up with video content. I am so looking forward to seeing how the videos develop, with the more that I produce.
This week marks a very special week for CCL – it’s our birthday! I can’t believe it- one year on and I can’t believe the amount that has been achieved in that time! I have worked so incredibly hard on this blog. It has become such a huge part of my world, and I love it. I am so proud of everything I have achieved and how far I have come. I’ve had the trolls knock me down, I’ve had all the negativity, and yet here I am, one year on! I am seriously brimming with pride. And of course, I couldn’t do it without such an amazing audience. You support this blog and love its content, and for that I am forever thankful.
So with that being said… I don’t want to say I’ve gone overboard with the birthday…. but I think it’s safe to say I haven’t done things by halves! I’m excited, and I think it should be celebrated! It’s been an awful lot of hard work that has gone into the past year, and tomorrow is the day I will be celebrating all the amazing achievements gone, and everything that is to come!
I have an exciting birthday surprise launching on my Instagram channel tomorrow (Tuesday 19th) so make sure you tune in for that – @countryclassiclucinda .
That’s all for now!
See you soon,
Lots of love, Lucinda xo
‘The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for a newer and richer experience.’– Eleanor Roosevelt